PS 103
If there is one thing comforting about this idea of reflection and remembering, it’s that it has been around a long time.
Jesus, like any good Jew, would have walked through the Jewish year (not the Christian one). And one thing we know is the Jewish year is designed around remembering! Safe to say—one of the major themes of Bible is forgetfulness of people of Israel! And I think it is safe to say, it carries through to people like us!
Now lest we get sentimental about remembering - Ash Wednesday does something kind of startling for us - it’s not a season designed to remind us of the nostalgia for the good old days.
We are asked to remember we are all sinners in need of a new heart. Leads us into season of Lent that reminds us that the new heart didn’t come cheaply—and, of course, Lent doesn’t come to a close till it’s taken us to the Cross and then finally and thankfully Easter.
Yesterday was Ash Wednesday. As I’m sure you know, Ash Wednesday begins the time in the church year known as Lent (I confess there was a time when I thought of Lent and other "seasons" of the church as useless liturgy. I’ve begun to learn they are actually a guide for intentional rhythm and spiritual formation.) approximately 40 days leading up to Easter.
I was in drug store last week – they were taking down all the Valentine’s Day stuff, the clerk was clearing shelves, etc.– I asked, "What’s next?" St. Patrick’s Day! Later, I thought to myself – we don’t have to worry about the commercialization of Ash Wednesday/Lent!
Of course, the day before Ash Wednesday is "Fat Tuesday/Mardi Gras" that has been well commercialized and more! I heard the mayor of Rio de Janeiro interviewed: "We want to be known for taking excess to a whole new level." Thanks, Mr. Mayor, that’s what we need . . .
Ash Wednesday, on other hand, calls us to reflection – a season of intentional reflection and repentance. This is not something we are inclined easily to do.
Earlier this week I had the chance to hear Fr. Condelemessa, Chaplain to the Vatican for 27 years – he is now in his late 70s! A Franciscan, quite an amazing and delightful man as you might imagine. He even looks like what you might imagine St. Francis looked like. In his talk of great tragedy of the loss of memory in the church today – the almost cultish way we are captivated by trends and what’s hot in the news – he said, "To live in such times with storms of news, world crises, and information overload, our hearts must be anchored solidly in the person of Christ; if we are anchored, we will remember."
Lately we have been reading the book The Cube and the Cathedral; a very thoughtful challenge to Americans (American Christians) to learn from the forgetfulness of Europe and its loss of Christian identity and inpact on culture. It is a very sobering and wise reflection on cultural identity and the foundational ideals of democracy and the danger of forgetfulness.
A friend of mine, John Van Zytveld, says, "If you lose a generation, it’s very hard to ever recover as a nation and as a people."
Popular game shows have been developed around the remembering of trivia. Perhaps in this season of Lent, we can shift our memory from trivial pursuit to pursuit of things that matter.
One of my favorite writers says it this way,
You alone bring order to the unruly wills and affections of sinners:
May we love what You command, and desire what You promise,
So that, among the swift and varied changes of this world,
Our hearts may be fixed where true joy is to be found.
Venite, Robert Benson, ed.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
bullies
Bullies
I know it comes as a shock to most of you that there are bullies in the Church . . . not. It isn’t long into serving in any Christian organization until we encounter someone who is determined to have his/her way. Whether it be by manipulation, force of personality, use or abuse of power or position, or a combination of all of the above, we are likely to encounter “the bully.” Contrary to popular opinion, they come in all shapes and sizes. They can be male or female, old or young, new to the faith, or long time member of the Church or organization.
And like the playground bully of school days, they must be checked or they will leave a trail of hurt, discouragement, and damage in their wake.
Where Do They Come From?
Most often bullies get into leadership positions by bluffing their way in. They convince people they are decisive, in control, without doubt or fear, and tough. Sometimes they use physical presence, voice inflections, or emotions to push their agenda. Nearly always in Christian organizations they are also skilled at playing the “God card” and often have mastered the use of religious language as a demonstration of their spiritual authority. Organizations facing tough challenges or coming out of a scandal are especially prone to the temptation of turning to the bully.
But as most organizational consultants will tell you, behind the bully’s “in-control bullying” façade is a black hole of insecurity. Bullies often are covering up brokenness and inadequacies and are in hope that their use of power and control will deflect others from knowing what’s really going on in their lives. But like the black hole, if the bullies are unchecked, they can quickly suck the spirit out of a group and change the ethos of an organization to one of fear, distrust, and insecurity.
Of course, as we frequently hear in sports, the best offense is a good defense. When organizations are vulnerable due to the circumstances or transitions that have destabilized things, those charged with oversight must guard against abdicating responsibility or seeking “easy” solutions that may come in the form of a bully disguised as a leader.
Boards, elders, and other oversight groups must guard against “short-circuiting” recruitment and search processes. Healthy organizations work hard to insure checks and balances are in place and that no one person or group manipulates to achieve his/her own agenda. In a recent issue of Harvard Business Review, researchers identified the #1 mistake organizations make in CEO successions is failure to follow a clear, purposeful, and mission driven search process. The lesson is clear; it’s much easier to do it right the first time than to fix it after the wrong person is in place.
Invariably, however, bullies sometimes find or force their way into leadership. Then what? Quite simply stand your ground and do the right thing. In most instances people will begin to realize fairly quickly when a mistake has been made. Bullies show their colors and soon start pushing people around, ganging up on people, or “ringing people’s tree” as one described it. While the temptation may be to retreat or abandon ship, when boards or groups realize a bully is attempting to take over, they must speak the truth, stand their ground, and hold the leader accountable. If a mistake has been made, fix it—there are no advantages that outweigh fixing a bad situation, while avoiding it or hoping for the best may seem like an alternative, we all know it simply prolongs the pain. In some cases (a very few) it may be that an executive coach, accountability group, or very clear management plan can rein in the bully and redeem the situation. However, most consultants will tell you this rarely works because it fails to deal with the fundamental problem—the character of the bully. Bullies are seldom wrong and never in doubt.
Bill Thrall, one of the authors of Ascent of a Leader and a highly sought after executive leadership coach, has observed, “Bullies have a way of smelling when an organization is feeling vulnerable and projecting themselves as the solution. Organizations would do well to do a 1 Corinthians:13 background check on any an every person seeking leadership to guard against making a mistake and putting a bully into leadership.” He then suggests four character traits to consider when evaluating if you have a bully on your hands. Is the person:
(1) Impulsive or Decisive
Good leadership seeks to gather as much and the best information possible before making a decision. Bullies don’t worry about the facts, they know what they want the decision to be and gather any information (true or false) they need to justify it.
(2) Secure or Insecure
Bullies are threatened by strength, competency, and capable people. They often move quickly to move people out who are strong and move people in who are weak, inexperienced, or submissive because they believe it makes them look good. Real leaders surround themselves with gifted, talented people because their ultimate goal is to advance the organization, not prop up an insecure ego.
(3) Into Self-Promotion or Kingdom Advancement
The bully will seek and use every opportunity available to put down others and promote themselves. Bullies frequently use lines like, “I’m here to bring order out of the chaos,” or “Luckily I discovered X and have saved the situation,” or “I have made the hard decisions others couldn’t make.” Good leaders focus on the mission, or honoring others, and on sharing praise with those who have shared the work.
(4) Into Full Disclosure or Secrecy
Bullies fear people knowing the truth, the whole story. They attempt to hide their manipulation or workings behind secrecy or partial disclosure. Good leaders, while respecting confidentiality when necessary, insure that enough key people know the truth of the full context of a situation to guard against personal agendas or decisions made reactively. Good leaders employ Kingdom values of redemption, reconciliation, restoration, and forgiveness. Bullies want to punish, put down, marginalize, and discredit others, particularly if they feel it elevates them in some way.
Perhaps never before has the Christian world been in need of good leaders as it is now. Estimates from many management consultants suggest that 40-60% of current senior leadership in Christian organizations will transition out of leadership in the next ten years. Exciting things are happening around the globe. There is a spiritual hunger in our culture and in other cultures that is unparalleled in human history.
One of the greatest tragedies will be if we miss this opportunity because of a leadership implosion. Equally tragic will be Christian groups who miss their opportunity to serve because the organization submitted to the bully in their midst. The greatest responsibility of any board is to steward the mission of the organization and the greatest manifestation of stewardship is in the selection of its leaders.
Steve Moore
January 2007
I know it comes as a shock to most of you that there are bullies in the Church . . . not. It isn’t long into serving in any Christian organization until we encounter someone who is determined to have his/her way. Whether it be by manipulation, force of personality, use or abuse of power or position, or a combination of all of the above, we are likely to encounter “the bully.” Contrary to popular opinion, they come in all shapes and sizes. They can be male or female, old or young, new to the faith, or long time member of the Church or organization.
And like the playground bully of school days, they must be checked or they will leave a trail of hurt, discouragement, and damage in their wake.
Where Do They Come From?
Most often bullies get into leadership positions by bluffing their way in. They convince people they are decisive, in control, without doubt or fear, and tough. Sometimes they use physical presence, voice inflections, or emotions to push their agenda. Nearly always in Christian organizations they are also skilled at playing the “God card” and often have mastered the use of religious language as a demonstration of their spiritual authority. Organizations facing tough challenges or coming out of a scandal are especially prone to the temptation of turning to the bully.
But as most organizational consultants will tell you, behind the bully’s “in-control bullying” façade is a black hole of insecurity. Bullies often are covering up brokenness and inadequacies and are in hope that their use of power and control will deflect others from knowing what’s really going on in their lives. But like the black hole, if the bullies are unchecked, they can quickly suck the spirit out of a group and change the ethos of an organization to one of fear, distrust, and insecurity.
Of course, as we frequently hear in sports, the best offense is a good defense. When organizations are vulnerable due to the circumstances or transitions that have destabilized things, those charged with oversight must guard against abdicating responsibility or seeking “easy” solutions that may come in the form of a bully disguised as a leader.
Boards, elders, and other oversight groups must guard against “short-circuiting” recruitment and search processes. Healthy organizations work hard to insure checks and balances are in place and that no one person or group manipulates to achieve his/her own agenda. In a recent issue of Harvard Business Review, researchers identified the #1 mistake organizations make in CEO successions is failure to follow a clear, purposeful, and mission driven search process. The lesson is clear; it’s much easier to do it right the first time than to fix it after the wrong person is in place.
Invariably, however, bullies sometimes find or force their way into leadership. Then what? Quite simply stand your ground and do the right thing. In most instances people will begin to realize fairly quickly when a mistake has been made. Bullies show their colors and soon start pushing people around, ganging up on people, or “ringing people’s tree” as one described it. While the temptation may be to retreat or abandon ship, when boards or groups realize a bully is attempting to take over, they must speak the truth, stand their ground, and hold the leader accountable. If a mistake has been made, fix it—there are no advantages that outweigh fixing a bad situation, while avoiding it or hoping for the best may seem like an alternative, we all know it simply prolongs the pain. In some cases (a very few) it may be that an executive coach, accountability group, or very clear management plan can rein in the bully and redeem the situation. However, most consultants will tell you this rarely works because it fails to deal with the fundamental problem—the character of the bully. Bullies are seldom wrong and never in doubt.
Bill Thrall, one of the authors of Ascent of a Leader and a highly sought after executive leadership coach, has observed, “Bullies have a way of smelling when an organization is feeling vulnerable and projecting themselves as the solution. Organizations would do well to do a 1 Corinthians:13 background check on any an every person seeking leadership to guard against making a mistake and putting a bully into leadership.” He then suggests four character traits to consider when evaluating if you have a bully on your hands. Is the person:
(1) Impulsive or Decisive
Good leadership seeks to gather as much and the best information possible before making a decision. Bullies don’t worry about the facts, they know what they want the decision to be and gather any information (true or false) they need to justify it.
(2) Secure or Insecure
Bullies are threatened by strength, competency, and capable people. They often move quickly to move people out who are strong and move people in who are weak, inexperienced, or submissive because they believe it makes them look good. Real leaders surround themselves with gifted, talented people because their ultimate goal is to advance the organization, not prop up an insecure ego.
(3) Into Self-Promotion or Kingdom Advancement
The bully will seek and use every opportunity available to put down others and promote themselves. Bullies frequently use lines like, “I’m here to bring order out of the chaos,” or “Luckily I discovered X and have saved the situation,” or “I have made the hard decisions others couldn’t make.” Good leaders focus on the mission, or honoring others, and on sharing praise with those who have shared the work.
(4) Into Full Disclosure or Secrecy
Bullies fear people knowing the truth, the whole story. They attempt to hide their manipulation or workings behind secrecy or partial disclosure. Good leaders, while respecting confidentiality when necessary, insure that enough key people know the truth of the full context of a situation to guard against personal agendas or decisions made reactively. Good leaders employ Kingdom values of redemption, reconciliation, restoration, and forgiveness. Bullies want to punish, put down, marginalize, and discredit others, particularly if they feel it elevates them in some way.
Perhaps never before has the Christian world been in need of good leaders as it is now. Estimates from many management consultants suggest that 40-60% of current senior leadership in Christian organizations will transition out of leadership in the next ten years. Exciting things are happening around the globe. There is a spiritual hunger in our culture and in other cultures that is unparalleled in human history.
One of the greatest tragedies will be if we miss this opportunity because of a leadership implosion. Equally tragic will be Christian groups who miss their opportunity to serve because the organization submitted to the bully in their midst. The greatest responsibility of any board is to steward the mission of the organization and the greatest manifestation of stewardship is in the selection of its leaders.
Steve Moore
January 2007
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